Burn the House Down!

In a store with her mother, my daughter yelled out loud, "Burn the house down!!!!"
Horrified, my wife looked around to see what damage control would be necessary. Normal girls don't address strangers in grocery stores with such announcements, you see.
"What are you talking about?"
My wife wisely concluded soon after that our daughter was repeating the story of the Alter Rebbe and Napolean...
Funny, right?
What would you have thought if you heard a sweet little girl make this announcement in your aisle?

Anatomy Lessons

When I give my girls a bath, I learn about body parts I never knew existed.
For example, after I soap their armpits, we move next to the legpits.

Job I didn't expect

As a Tatty (Daddy), I have reluctantly been dragged into a fuzz-between-the-toes remover for my 3-year-old.
"Tatty, there's more di-iirrrt!" she will call out to me.
With no hope in sight, I slump my shoulders and shuffle my feet and make my way to answer the call.

Licking the Bowl

My girls were licking out the delicious, chocolaty residue from the bowl Mommy used to make her dessert.
The oldest kept using her finger and a spoon to try to get every bit of chocolate she could.
We later found her sitting in the kitchen, with the bowl upside down over her head. She was licking the inside of the bowl at this much better angle!

Good Advice

This isn't about kids, but still good advice in general:
When you get a text that reads, "I'm having a really hard time, about to loose it", it's really best not to text back: *lose .

Magnatiles

My 3-year-old's Morah was out of class for a week.
"She went to Eretz Yisroel," my daughter told me. "She is bringing the kinderlach there toys, since they don't have any."
"They don't have any? I'm sure they have some toys. Maybe they don't have all the ones that you do."
"Yeah, Morah said she is bringing them Magnatiles."

When I'm a baby

My 3-year-old sometimes talks as if she will turn back into a baby at some point. If she is talking about her younger sister,m she may say, "When ____ is bigger, she will sit in my carseat, and I will sit in her baby seat."
Or she will say, "When I'm a baby, I'll use the baby באדי (bath)."
"Oh, when will that be?" I ask.
"After I turn 4 or 5."